He Got Game

My tax accountant had good news for me this year, so I treated myself to a new gaming rig. Now, I do all my real work (and real goofing around) on my G5 PowerMac, but I still want a hoss machine to play games on. I call it my Wintendo, as a slightly petulant show of disdain, expressing my belief that Windows is pretty much only good for games. But this isn't about me slagging on Windows.

Having all this fantastic gaming power at my disposal sort of made me wax nostalgic for the games of yesteryear that were dear to me. One of my fondest gaming memories is from the Amiga game F/A-18 Interceptor by Electronic Arts. The game had a training mode where you flew an unarmed F/A-18, and had to duplicate the maneuvers of an F-16, sort of a follow-the-leader deal. Pressing the fire button would warp you into starting position: behind, to the left, and slightly below the F-16, both of you at 80% throttle.

Despite being unarmed, it was still possible to destroy the F-16, much to my delight. Here's how: Push your throttle up to 100%, then eject just as you pull up even with the F-16. Your pilot will slam into the F-16, causing it to start spiraling toward the ground, emitting black smoke all the way. The pilot, unscathed, then floats gently to Earth on his parachute (which takes a really long time). Congratulations, you have just taken on an F-16 with your bare hands and won. Try that, Jack Bauer.

Incidentally, if you're patient enough to watch the F-16 fall all the way to the ground, you'll be rewarded with a tiny little explosion and a poof of white smoke. Very Wile E. Coyote.